I'VE CHANGED!

i've definitely changed a lot this year. i didn't realize it until recently tho. i don't know if i've developed tougher skin or if my skin is actually getting softer so i decided to build a wall before i get too vulnerable. whatever it is its definitely showing a brand new side of me. i mean i'm not bitter but i'm mean and raw and i really don't care what anyone thinks. i play games a lot and i act like the victim lol. well in most cases i was a victim and maybe thats why i'm so shielded now. i dunno.

the good thing is i'm not a total pooper. my love is still the same and i don't find it hard to be happy for the people around me. i talked to my friend who used to be jealous of my past relationship and though her and her man aren't doing great i was encouraging her to do her best. i know what it feels like to be happy and in love and to feel like even when u have nothing left u have someone to hold u up when u just wanna give up. i know that feeling all too well and i want my friends to enjoy that. i really do. my WIFEY is totally cut off now becuz she gotta man lol. she doesn't need me anymore lol. sike no dude can be me but i can't be so stingy now. i get it.

as far as my love life goes. i don't think i want one. well maybe i'm tricking myself into believing that becuz the guys in my life are useless. i dunno. i just don't have time for drama or unnecessary pain. and i think they both bring that to the table. why can't i just find someone special who sees me for the beauty that i am. inside and out. i want my love whoever he may be, to see me and only me. and choose me and only me. and to be honest no matter what the outcome may be or how much pain it may cause. see i have one dumbass who is afraid to hurt my feelings and the other idiot who doesn't like to make me feel special. how fuckin dumb are they lol. but whatever life goes on and thats why i act the way i do now. i used to be this huge cake who just loved to cuddle and here those sweet nothings and kiss and hold hands and rub and just feel special all day long. but now i'm like i need my space homey. why are u staring into my eyes weirdo. u miss me? okay and? lol thats me i'm just mean but thats what i be thinking for real. i guess they ran up my damn patience or something. who knows. maybe i'm just faking lol.

i've definitely changed but i'm still JUST me! plus i'm becoming an aunt at the moment so nothing makes me smile harder.

***MUAH***
keepin it pretti