I'M SO NOT OPTIMISTIC!

i've come to realize that i've changed more than i thought. like after reading my wifey's blog i learned that i don't see things as she does and that isn't normal. we're usually on point with this stuff. but not anymore i just don't care anymore well at least i'm tryin not to care anymore. i mean, when things go wrong i usually just be like okay thats life. but now i'm taking this personal. like life is telling me "hey joy, you've enjoyed yourself enough time to join the rest of the miserable people". as much as i wanna leave MI i don't see it happening anymore. a lot of set backs. then as much as i wanna stay with DB i don't see that happening anymore. i'm taking all things into consideration. i'm not that person who just wants to have fun and skate through life. i work for what i got but now its like working is not enough. i put my all into everything i do and now its not even coming close to being worth it. i guess i'm down and bitter right now. i'm not really bitter though i just don't understand why me why now. i've been so good and true ( well i guess). i've been true to the ones who matter mainly myself. i really reached this point in my life where i'm like i love me more than anyone ever can. so i'm set on love but companionship is something else. that is one thing that i cherish a lot. i like that mutual feeling and connection with another person but now its like the one i thought i had is fading like i've been blind for the longest period of time. or maybe i've been ignoring things i dunno, i really can't figure it out.
and now on top of all of my dreams seeming to be crushed my f'n car is getting worse and worse. i'm the only one with a car now so if my car fails then my house is doomed. like no one gets to work and no one gets anything accomplished. but yet its on me to get this shit together. i know i have helped if i'm completely at a loss but its seems like no one cares like i do. like they don't realize the situation. maybe because they aren't the ones doing all the driving around and all. like they don't know what sonny (my car) goes through on a daily basis. i need my sonny and my sonny needs me and we're finding it hard to be there for each other. i don't want this to add to my problems i think i would go into a deep depression. seriously!
i guess on a better note i can say that my child is healthy to my knowledge. she has to go to the doctor wednesday to get some S H O T S. she usually is good when she gets shots but its been a while and i'm not sure how she is going to handle them. i hope she is fine with it though. i have to look into some schools for her though becuz i think the baby sitter situation is changing big time. i can't afford this. i don't know what i'm going to do i swear i don't. oh yeah this was supposed to be a better note. well too bad for that.
umm lets try this better note again .... i'm seeing the wifey tomorrowYAY!!!


***MUAH***
keepin it pretti

MY LOVE LIFE!

well, this is where things get a little rough. i seem nice right?! my pic is kinda cute! my heart is in the right place and i have plans for the future! i mean i'm not crazy or psychotic and i don't stink i'm not money hungry and even though i'm a brat i will spoil the hell outta the next person. so here is the question: why can't i find a man? like a real man. i mean i was just in a 3 year long relationship and it didn't last because as usual i'm the best but i guess people don't want the best lol. but seriously i don't know why males have to be so dumb. like i guess i changed a lot for my last boyfriend. i figured if i did everything right and it still didn't work out then it can't be my fault. and low and behold i was right.

so now i'm single for the first time in my life it feels like. and i kinda like it but then again i'm stuck. like i have this dude in my life and i'll call him dougie! Dougie is my baby. like he is so different and the best thing about him is that he doesn't try to game me. which is weird for me becuz i'm used to being worshipped and all. and he's just like "yeah whatever, you're my boo". he don't say those famous lines like "i'm different from other dudes" which he is or the "baby i love u" lie. he won't sit up and tell me i'm so beautiful all day but he will tell me what he likes. he's just one of those ass's who u can't help but like. he's so backwards, yes is no and no is yes. but i love it. plus he's like extra cute with the prettiest itty bitty brown eyes i've ever seen on a grown man (lol) and these lips that just happen to be crucial as ever. he is awesome but i don't know what to do with him most days. its like everything is there except for the seriousness. like i said i don't really want a boyfriend but i wouldn't mind being with him. i don't know maybe he doesn't feel the same and thats why we're the way we are. i definitely try not to complain but i am a brat and i want what i want. he thinks he's my kryptonite or something.

regardless of whatever i need to get unstuck. i need to find a way to make things clear between me and him or cut some strings becuz i refuse to be the girl and sat around waiting on something that never came. bottom line i'm kinda a hot commodity lol and he doesn't want me dating other people so... obviously someone needs to step up becuz i would hate to disappoint him. i try not to do too much wrong becuz KARMA!? that bitch is a BITCH!!!

can't wait to see how this works out. hopefully for the best... even if the best isn't what i want at the moment.

***MUAH***
keepin it pretti

MY LOVES!!!

Well let me start with explaining the title. I'm the type of person who loves hard so if i love you you should definitely not take it lightly. And its some people who know this to be fact and not only do they return the love but they appreciate me. My Loves are my heart and I'd do almost anything for them.

first and foremost my Jayla Kina aka MoMo aka Mookie aka just plain ol' Jay! nothing and no one comes before her. I'd straight give my heart and rib to make her happy. she is definitely a bad ass 2 year old but i'm hoping its just a phase (fingers crossed). i just hope that as she gets older she knows that there is nothing in this world that she can't tell me or share with me.

then there is the fam: kelicia, joe, donald the parents of course and my youngn's. its like four of them. and when i said parents that was minus the step mom. i love my dad most of the time and my step dad always have my best interest at heart no matter how frustrating he is and my mom. my mom used to be my bestest. we kinda fell off but its still floating around here somewhere. kelicia is about to drop my very first official nephew i can't wait. joe is my biggest support 98 percent of the time. and my brother in law donald, well he keeps us sane. my youngn's are my dad's children, they have become a huge part of my world i never thought i could love them so much but i do so watch out.

next is my friends: my miss's of course; cristal, sierra, and la'monique. there are no other bonds stronger. i mean none. to seriously consider how we came from so many different places and met at so many different times in our lives and sometimes we're really tight and other times we barely talk but trust its a bond truer that any i know.
i have a couple bestest; janine and eric. you know those friendships that last forever just because they are supposed to. just because when we decided to give our hearts to each other life took control and said you'll forever be friends lol.
then i have a few i recognize as my sisters no matter what because it just feels that way. like u know how u have those friends who are like family that you don't see much or talk to a lot but when you do its still feels the same. well this is where sierra g, adrienne, brittany, tiffany, and misha comes in. i love these girls!
then i have those girls who i've known for forever and we will always remain the same; tierra, keisha, and lauren. we used to be unstoppable lol.

okay enough of those bitches lol on to the real one: the one and only baby daddy! i've recently realized that what we had wasn't as real as we played it up to be but none the less that boy will always have a place in my heart. he is a sweetheart but he doesn't know what real anything is. i mean friends fam nothing. he's a lost soul out here and he needs me i just can't be there for him like he wants me to. i can't give in to that soft spot but it weakens my spirit and i like to be positive so i do what i can.


i hope i didn't miss anyone... there maybe someone else but u have to stay tuned for that!!!

***MUAH***
keepin it pretti

My LIfe!

My life consists of a lot of different elements of me. I'm a mom a friend a daughter a step daughter a best friend a sister a baby mama and everybody's favorite lol. No seriously, I'm double dueces (22) still at home with mom and my only child just turned 2! I'm a MISS (mature intelligent sophisticated sister) yet and still. I have a handful of friends outside of my sisters. I'm a baby and middle child all at once. I work full time and still haven't found time to go back to college. I plan on moving to Chicago in about 5 months with my BGITWWW (bestest girl in the whole wide world). The best part of my life is waking up with my munchkin! Jayla Kina Armstead. She is my life my world and people try to question my parenting skills and my loyalty to her and that is probably the worst thing anyone could ever do. Warning: never assume that I'm too much into something else that I can't focus on her. Yeah life gets hard and she probably spends more time with my mom than she does me but I gotta work to take care of her because no one else does. I'm like one hundred percent her support system. Don't get me wrong her daddy is around but he's a child himself and he doesn't know what it means to provide and take care of her. He thinks I'm supposed to tell him what she needs lol. Silly boy he is. I mean really outside of that he let me go and thought I would come back lol. But whatever we'll get in to all of that later. This is just a snippet. I'll introduce everyone of importance or lack there of in my life and then you'll learn to love me as they do. And I'll seal every post with a kiss. I promise!

**MUAH**
Keepin It Pretti ... still!!!!