whats missing from my life is a love fulfilled. i've loved one with all i had and he repeatedly made me want to regret it. but still to this day i'm thinking why would i? i had the most fun i could ask for. and most of all i know how empowering and special love makes u feel. sure it has its negatives but most importantly it made me real. i mean the way i felt when i was with himis just different and more amazing then any other feeling.
but i can't erase the past and i can't act like i dont see the millions of mountains and miles between us. it hurts thinking that i can never take him back. i know i'm who he really wants but how do give him his way when he refused to give me mine a thousand times. i sometimes wich he did love that other girl so that he wouldn't torture me with all of his "i love u" and "i need u bad" text messages. i don't find myself needing him as much as i used to. but yet i don't find myself needing anyone well i probably do be in this lonely state i'm in i fidn it better not to really reach out. so while he's lookin for me to expect something amazing outta him i think i would be terrified if something amazig did happen. i dunno i'm kinda screwed.
oh yeah and my dougie.... man o man... my dougie. i've doen a really good job at sticking to my guns with this boy eventhough i haven't really gotten the chane to really test my limits but still i'm been good. but now its like i don't know what i want from him. i used to just wanna know that he cared but dammit if this past weekend haven't showed me that then i don't know what will. i mean he may not be in love with me but.... its something there. he just choosing not to voice whatever it is. i can deal with it for now i guess.
one last thing... that benjy guy is so on my nerves. now he feels the need to stress me about phone calls and what not like he's still number 1. HA! how f'n hilarious is he? u drop me and i damn sure won't care about pickin u up honey! but yet he calls early in the morning and send those why u not talkin to me text messages. i dunno if i should even entertain the situation. maybe i will maybe i won't but he's definitely not going to get the best of me this time. i guarantee it! later for him lol
so there are only two things in the air for me. 1.. is my one true... 2... is a possible relationship being formed with someone i would definitely have to teach how to love me. so no need to pull out the pros and cons right!? who wants to teach a man to love? but whatever happens won't happen until 2009 lol
***MUAH***
keepin it pretti
but i can't erase the past and i can't act like i dont see the millions of mountains and miles between us. it hurts thinking that i can never take him back. i know i'm who he really wants but how do give him his way when he refused to give me mine a thousand times. i sometimes wich he did love that other girl so that he wouldn't torture me with all of his "i love u" and "i need u bad" text messages. i don't find myself needing him as much as i used to. but yet i don't find myself needing anyone well i probably do be in this lonely state i'm in i fidn it better not to really reach out. so while he's lookin for me to expect something amazing outta him i think i would be terrified if something amazig did happen. i dunno i'm kinda screwed.
oh yeah and my dougie.... man o man... my dougie. i've doen a really good job at sticking to my guns with this boy eventhough i haven't really gotten the chane to really test my limits but still i'm been good. but now its like i don't know what i want from him. i used to just wanna know that he cared but dammit if this past weekend haven't showed me that then i don't know what will. i mean he may not be in love with me but.... its something there. he just choosing not to voice whatever it is. i can deal with it for now i guess.
one last thing... that benjy guy is so on my nerves. now he feels the need to stress me about phone calls and what not like he's still number 1. HA! how f'n hilarious is he? u drop me and i damn sure won't care about pickin u up honey! but yet he calls early in the morning and send those why u not talkin to me text messages. i dunno if i should even entertain the situation. maybe i will maybe i won't but he's definitely not going to get the best of me this time. i guarantee it! later for him lol
so there are only two things in the air for me. 1.. is my one true... 2... is a possible relationship being formed with someone i would definitely have to teach how to love me. so no need to pull out the pros and cons right!? who wants to teach a man to love? but whatever happens won't happen until 2009 lol
***MUAH***
keepin it pretti
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