HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ME... SIKE

so this past weekend i was in east lansing because i had a few graduations to attend. nevertheless mother's day was sunday and i didnt plan on haveing fun at all since my bookie had to work all day. my plan was to make it back late saturday night so i could have a little time to spend with him. so anyway... he had the place to himself all weekend and of course i stated that i wanted to come home to a clean apartment.. did that happen noooo.

first off... he got drunk saturday night so when i got home he was passed out and barely acknowledged me.. what a waste? then i wake up only to have to clean up my kitchen and bathroom and all the while he's laying in the bed talkin about a stop we have to make before he goes to work. so of the B I T C H came out. i mean i was going off for a good 10 mins. i was really angry and felt unappreciated and just disappointed in him... i hate when he disappoints me.

so then me fussin and callin him stupid all of a sudden ignited something in this fool to start going off about something we argued about 2 weeks prior. then he does the dumbest thing ever.. he punched my glass table. i wanna to kill him for doing something that damn dumb over something so dumb. so i ended up kicking him out. lol

its really not funny but the thing is he is mad that im friends with dougie... yes dougie... thing is he really has nothing to worry about. me and dougie have always been friends and will always be that. its not that serious. i really feel like he dont trust me even though i've never given him any reason not to. i've always done what was right for us... minus a few things but none of these things ever happened while me and him were together. he is fool to me. but i love him and i now where his heart is and he is just afraid of losing me again. but i wont let that happen well not unless he breaks another table... by the way we are back together... i can deal with a little insecurity but its the damage that he caused that bothers me. he wrecks us and obviously the furniture with this bs and i just wanna slap him upsode his head and say "look dummy u got me and all this is unnecessary." i feel like im over everything bad that ever happened and now he's creating more crap for me to push to the side. i cant do that all the time. i grew up and i dont wanna have to put up with nonsense not when we are so great now. i mean he wants to tell me i cant talk to him and just have that be it. but what he doesnt realize is if we start running each others life then we'll end up miserable becuz all we do is what the other thinks is ok. on the other hand i know im in a relationship and its my job to stay true and loyal to mine and thats exactly what i do and what i have been doing. i'm always at my best for him and he needs to be man enough to see that. well i guess he sees it but sometimes he's wants to be blinded by the devil on his shoulder. ugh i hate this part lol.

but i'm a happy camper. and i do believe that we will forever remain the amazing match. i just dont like the self sabotage. he needs some help. and that help has to come from me. so i gotta figure something out. we gotta start doing new things and really reaching out to each other.

last night we were laying in the bed and he said "we dont talk anymore"... i told him we dont talk like we used to becuz b4 he was just tellin me what i wanted to hear in order to keep me around. so now i guess new means of communication are needed. i'll get back and update on what works for us and what doesn't... please believe I'M MARRYING THIS FOOL lmao

by the way.... BIG UPS TO WIFEY FOR TREATING ME TO APPLEBEE'S ON MOTHER'S DAY. the food really help calm my nerves lol... she's always there for me.

til next time

***MUAH***
keepin it pretti